I've shared this idea with you previously, but perhaps this is a good time to bring it back to mind. I find it to be a good reminder in many types of situations.
‘Kok’s Law’ came into being as a means of survival in intimidating circumstances. No doubt, other people have stumbled on the genius of this concept, but I am going to claim to be the first to state it as a law!
Remember all the times you sat in class as a college student, tongue-tied with fear of volunteering the answer you had in mind? Then, sitting there, afraid to speak up, you melted in discouragement and frustration as you heard someone else speak up and say exactly what you had thought! And she received all the high praise!!
Recall the many hunches, intuitions, and ideas you’ve had, but they were left unspoken or ignored because you lacked the confidence to speak about them or do something with them. Then you read or heard them stated by someone else who received admiration for their brilliance? ‘Kok’s Law’ can help you in each of these situations, and ones like them.
‘Kok’s Law’ was born one Saturday morning as I sat in a committee meeting, where we were planning a conference program. The chairman was a forceful, confident-appearing person, who had a load of ideas. He was on his way toward setting up the program all by himself, as the rest of us passively agreed. Then it hit me! I was aware in my heart and in my head that I was experiencing considerable distress and unease with the way the plans were being laid out. As I listened to my ‘guts’, I felt a flood of anger and objections. I realized that I didn’t like much of what the chairman was authoritatively hammering into place. But . . .there I was, nodding assent, just like everyone else in the meeting.
Then came the second revelation: If I’m feeling this way, I’ll bet at least a couple of these other ‘yes-men’ are, too.
Assuming this was true, I thought I should speak up. If I did, I’d be sure to get support. So I spoke. Immediately, the others joined in! Amazingly, the chairman, who until then had been so dominating, listened. Then the program planning progressed in a fresh new way. Everything was changed for the better.
‘Kok’s Law’ was born: If I am thinking something, or feeling something, at least half the others in a group or meeting are likely to be having the same thoughts or feelings!
I give you Kok’s Law to use carefully. I guarantee it will work at least half the time.