Things I Forgot

Things I Forgot When My Friend Was Hurting

I forgot that when her crisis occurred, she needed someone right away, not hours or days later.

I forgot that my presence with her was important. I thought a quick phone call would take care of it.

I forgot that when she stopped crying, it didn’t mean that she had stopped hurting. I forgot and tried to resume our normal conversational style of the past and moved on to other things.

When the funeral services were over, I mentally and emotionally moved on to other things. I forgot that her grief was not over.

When she came home from the hospital, I forgot that she still needed support and help.

When I saw her again several months later, I tried to avoid mentioning her husband who had died. I forgot that she still wanted to talk about him.

I forgot to remember the things I’ve learned to do better. I forgot to remember that the right things to say and the right things to do don’t happen automatically. I have to remember to think consciously of my words and actions. I need to remember that there are hurting people all around me, whom I can help and comfort by my caring acts and my attention. I have to remember to be thoughtfully consistent in my desire to offer care and kindness.

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