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A Major Mistake When Helping the Hurting


When visiting someone who is in grief, or who has recently been hit by a distressing or unsettling event there is a major temptation. It is to think you have to fix the problem, give a solution, provide a remedy.


Sometimes the answer that folks give is a Scripture verse or some Biblical wisdom. But . . . those may be untimely.


Remember the old formula: "90% of Helping is Just Showing Up". That is the medicine everyone needs. The medicine is Love.


Answers, fixes, solutions and remedies may be politely received, but they seldom fit. Giving such supposed help may make the giver feel as if she is doing something, but they are almost always inappropriate.


What should one do then?


Show up! Act interested. Listen. Touch. Smile a little. Weep with those who weep.


Rarely stay more than an hour -- (twenty minutes or less if the person is sick).


Listen. Listen. Listen!


Remember, God heals.


Your presence is love, not your "fixing" words. That love, your presence, is part of God's healing presence. God will heal them. 


You just show up.




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