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We Showed Up . . .

As most of my readers know, we held an annual Care and Kindness Conference at the Crystal Cathedral years ago. At our request, some of them shared experiences they had as a result of having attended. I recently came across a stack of these anecdotes and would like to share one of them with you.

I'm hoping that as you read Donna's story, it will stay in your mind as encouragement in a situation that you may yourself encounter.


Just this past Tuesday I was able to encourage my husband extend Care and Kindness to another man. My husband carpools with a man named D. C., along with another man.

Very early, on Tuesday morning, D. C. called our home to say he wasn't going to work, due to a death in the family. He didn't say who had died.

My husband left for work, parked his car at D. C. 's house, as he usually does, and carpooled with the other man. It was just a couple of hours later that a friend called me and said the D. C.'s only child, a seventeen-year-old son, was found dead in his bed the afternoon before. I called my husband to let him know, and asked him to start praying for D. C. and his wife., Deborah.

Before my husband left work, he called me and asked me this question… "When I pick up my car today at the D. C.'s, do you think I should go up to the door?" I replied, "Yes, absolutely you should go up to the door. You don't have to say anything. Just wrap your arms around him and, if you feel like crying, cry right along with him. The most important thing is that you 'show up!' My husband said he would do it and he did!

The next day, I also paid a visit to D. C., even though I really don't know him and have only met him briefly. I had never met their son. When the door opened, I introduce myself, hugged them both and cried with them. D. C. told me how my husband had come over, and how much it had meant to him.

I'm so grateful for all the beautiful ways I've learned at the Care and Kindness Conference to meet and comfort the hurting. I'm thankful I was able to say the right words to encourage my husband to be the light of Jesus to extend his love and compassion to this family.

1 comment

1 Comment

Mary Antcliff
Aug 21, 2020

This is a note for Jim Kok from Mary (used to be Johnson) Antcliff. I wrote this during the first quiet months of quarentine this past Spring. Some of your teaching comes through here, Jim. So many times, I hear your common sense voice:

Time to be set down

Time to give thanks

Time to pray

Time to reflect

Time to be challenged

I have been challenged, but I need to ‘set the stage’ with a story.  40-45 years ago I worked for the Evangelical Hospital Chaplaincy at Butterworth Hospital.  Joe Smith was the Director.  

My areas of service were Hi-Risk OB and OB-Gyn, two days a week.  Based on how people filled in their admission papers, the hospital would…

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