I Forgot

Things I Forgot When My Friend Was Hurting

I forgot that when her crisis occurred, she needed someone right away, not hours or days later.

I forgot that my presence with her was important. I thought a quick phone call would take care of it.

I forgot that when she stopped crying, it didn’t mean that she had stopped hurting. I forgot and tried to resume our normal conversational style of the past and moved on to other things.

When she was crying over her sudden loss, I hesitated to ask her questions about how it happened. I forgot she still needed to talk about all that.  I forgot that hearing her feelings was important but that she also had to tell the whole story.

When he got that big promotion at work, I forgot to honestly enter into his joy. Instead, I teased him and downplayed it, as if it were not that big a deal. I forgot  that by doing that I was throwing water on his enthusiasm.

I forgot to remember the things I’ve learned to do better. I forgot to remember that the right things to say and the right things to do don’t happen automatically.

I have to remember to think consciously of my words and actions. I need to remember that there are hurting people all around me, whom I can help and comfort by my caring acts and my attention.

I have to remember to be thoughtfully consistent in my desire to offer care and kindness.